VIRTUAL DEATH DOULA
You've planned everything.
Except this.
As a (mostly) virtual death doula, I offer expert guidance and approachable conversations through the part of life nobody prepares you for — so your family is protected, your wishes documented, and you can stop worrying about it.
Any of this sound familiar?
You've built a good life as a busy professional. Career, family, finances — with intention. And yet... end-of-life is still sitting on the list. Not because you don't care, but because no one teaches you how to do this part (and no one wants to bring it up), so it keeps getting moved to later.
You know you should have a plan... a real one, not just a will that's probably out of date — but every time you think about starting, you don't know where to begin and you're not sure you have the bandwidth for what you might find out.
Someone in your life is facing a serious illness and you're suddenly inside a medical system that speaks its own language, makes its own rules, and doesn't seem particularly interested in what your family actually needs.
You watched someone you love have a hard death... confusing, chaotic, not what anyone would have chosen — and you have quietly decided that is not going to happen to your family. You just don't know yet how to make sure of that.
Here's what I want you to know: The hard part isn't the planning. It's the starting.
And starting is exactly what I'm here to help you do.
WHAT I DO
There's a place to start... Here's how we work together
Advance Care Planning
The most important thing you can do now.
A clear, values-based plan that tells your family and medical team exactly what matters to you. State-specific documents, properly executed. Wishes documented. Peace of mind of knowing if something happens tomorrow, the people you love would know exactly what you want — and wouldn't have to guess, argue, or wonder.
This is where most people should start.
End-of-Life Support
For when it's no longer hypothetical.
With a terminal diagnosis, everything shifts — suddenly you're navigating a medical system that feels overwhelming while trying to be there for the person you love. I step in as a steady, knowledgeable, non-medical presence for both the dying person and their family. I bridge the gap between the medical team and the people who need someone in their corner.
Life and Legacy Projects
Because your story deserves to be told.
A guided, personalized experience that draws out and documents the stories, memories, and irreplaceable details that make you who you are — and captures them in a form that both works for you, and that your family will enjoy for years to come. Every person's life and legacy project looks different, because every person is different.
STEP-BY-STEP / HOW IT WORKS
You don't have to figure out where to start
That's my job
One of the biggest reasons people put this off is that the whole thing feels like one big, messy problem. Where do you even begin? What do you do first? How do you know if you're doing it right?
You don't have to know any of that before you call me. That's the entire point.
The process starts with a free 20-minute Readiness Review Call
An honest, personalized assessment of where you actually stand. What you have in place. What's missing. And what a smart next step looks like for your specific situation. No pressure, no judgment, no cost.
From there, everything moves one step at a time
Each session has a clear purpose, a defined deliverable, and a defined end point. You're never asked to commit to a step before you understand what it is. And you're never left to figure out what comes next on your own.
ABOUT BARB
Hey, I'm Barb
Certified End-of-Life Doula + Certified Advance Care Planner
I came to this work the way most people come to it — through loss.
My sister was diagnosed with a fatal brain disorder as a teenager. She died at 39, while my mother navigated a complex healthcare system almost entirely alone. No roadmap. No one translating what was happening into something a family could actually understand and act on. It was harder than it needed to be.
That experience — combined with 25 years of professional experience helping people communicate complex information clearly — sent me here. I'm certified in end-of-life doula care and advance care planning, with additional training in progress.
I'm not going to talk down to you. I'm not going to make this more complicated than it needs to be. And I'm not going to pretend paperwork is the point — because it isn't.
"I realized we give our greyhounds more intentional, thoughtful, quality-focused end-of-life care than most people give themselves — because they deserve it. So do you." — Barbara Gates
Why virtual works
Location doesn't matter. Presence does.
Most of this work is information, guidance, and conversation — having someone knowledgeable in your corner who can help you prepare, process, and advocate. That doesn't require me to be in the room with you.
Working virtually means more flexibility for busy professionals who are already stretched thin. No geographic limits — you can work with me from anywhere. Less friction getting started. And the same quality of support, because depth of connection is real even through a screen.
Even end-of-life vigil support can be provided remotely when in-person isn't possible. Presence doesn't always require being in the same room.
Not ready to book a call? Start here
FREE 5-DAY EMAIL COURSE
What a 'good death' looks like (+ how to design yours)
Most people have never thought about what a good death actually means to them — because nobody's ever asked. This free course changes that. In five short daily emails, you'll get a real framework for thinking about your end of life: what matters, what a good death can look like when it's been planned for, and how to start designing yours.
Free. Five minutes a day. It might be the most useful thing you do this week.
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FAQ
Here's what people ask most
What exactly is a death doula?
A death doula (also called an end-of-life doula) is a non-medical professional trained to support dying individuals and their families through the end-of-life process — emotionally, practically, educationally, and sometimes spiritually. Think of me as a knowledgeable, experienced guide who helps everyone involved feel less lost and more supported. I'm not a nurse, an attorney, or a financial advisor — I'm the person who sits in the gap between all of those and makes sure you understand what's happening and what your options actually are.
How is a death doula different from hospice?
Hospice is an essential medical service — and if you or someone you love needs it, please contact them as soon as possible. But hospice has limits (thanks, Medicare). I complement hospice by providing more time, more individualized attention, more advocacy, and more availability. We're not either/or. We're better together.
What is advance care planning, and why does it matter?
Advance care planning is the process of documenting your healthcare wishes, naming the people who will make decisions on your behalf if you can't, and making sure everyone who needs to know actually knows. It's not just a legal form — done right, it's a values-based roadmap that protects your family from having to make impossible decisions without guidance. It's the most important thing most people have never done, and it's exactly where I start with almost every client.
Do I have to be facing a terminal illness to work with you?
Absolutely not. In fact, the most powerful thing you can do is plan before you need it. Advance care planning is for anyone who has people they love and wishes they'd like honored. The earlier you start, the better protected everyone is.
Is everything confidential?
100%. Everything shared in our work together stays private and confidential — full stop.
Do you only work with people in Minnesota?
Nope. I work both virtually and in-person, which means I can work with you from anywhere. No commutes, no scheduling gymnastics. Just real support when and where you need it.
You worked hard for a good life. You deserve a good death, too.
If you've been putting this off — the planning, the conversations — I get it. It isn't the easiest thing to start. But you've planned your career, your retirement, your future. This is just the next part of the plan. And you don't have to figure it out alone.
Virtual sessions available — work with me from anywhere.
Minneapolis, MN-based death doula and advance care planner. Personalized end-of-life solutions for busy professionals and families.
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